Dance

Dance has played the biggest role in who I am today. Throughout the years it has played so many different roles in my life. At first it was just my fun activity that I went to once a week, then it turned into a place where I could find friends outside of my school district, and then it turned to my escape. I am able to go to a better place where I can regroup and recharge. While dance has always been a place of growth and determination, it also breeds insecurities and self doubt.

When we are young we are taught to not judge people based on appearance but that is far from true when you’re a dancer. Every time you step into the studio you are surrounded by a full wall of mirrors and dressed in a leotard and tights, which doesn’t hide anything. You go through puberty in front of a mirror. You go through middle school, when girls are nothing but mean, in front of a mirror. You watch your body so closely though all of its changes, to a point of obsession.

I remember the first time that I compared my body to another dancer's body. I was 11. Eleven is way too young of an age for girls to start hating the way that they look. I remember feeling like all of my friends had skinnier legs than me. And while that was true, I was a dancer who had strong legs. My legs were not fat. I had muscles that other dancers had not developed yet. Muscles that helped me thrive as a dancer.

As I grew older my insecurities got worse. I worried about my weight, what my body looked like, what I was eating, and if I was working out enough. When you start worrying about these things at such a young age, it's hard to focus on anything else. It just becomes part of your life. It became part of my life. It is still part of my life. I still compare myself to what I want to look like and what my friends look like, but now that I realize how damaging it was to my self confidence, I try to not let it influence my self worth. I realize now that I may not look like I want to or how I think I should but that doesn’t make me less of a dancer, or less of a person. I am able to realize that I have worth outside of dance and outside of the standards that dance set for me.

These standards have really made me want to make a change in the way society as a whole, but especially dance, portrays body image to young children. I think it is important for kids to feel comfortable and confident in who they are, and I hope to be part of that change.